It's deep into the middle of winter in The City. As I navigate Bartleby through the cold empty forests at 1:30am in an attempt to shake furniture out of some fir trees (don't question it... ) I decide that I need to build a snowman.
I roll up the first snowball larger and larger until it's actually bigger than my character. I roll it into a nice clearing, and finding my second snowball, push it up on top. I really didn't spend the time rolling his head to big... but whatever... I'm an impatient creator.
The snowman takes form immediately. Coal eyes and a mouth appear from nowhere, as does his staple carrot nose. And then he addresses me, his maker. He says to me that he would like to sum up his existence, his very being, in one word.
"WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?"
Well shit. I spend 30 minutes (literally) finding the damn snowballs to build the world's most ungrateful snow-cretin ever. I guess he really didn't like having a ginormous body and a pin sized head. I think it makes him look dignified!
I created a self-loathing snowman.... I should not play God.
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#1 hobbie Jan 7, 2006 06:39am
Mine always complain that their heads are too big. Or they would, if they would actually describe the problem other than just not good enough.
And I find that you can have up to 3 snowmen at a time, so just try again tomorrow.
#2 Otherland Jan 8, 2006 05:06am
I still say you should find a hairdryer and let him feel summertime early.
#3 R. LeFeuvre Jan 16, 2006 06:38am
Well, Pinhead melted quite a while ago, and his followup, a FREAKISHLY GIANT snowman was also too deficient to really be able to enjoy life...
But after that I became a Snow Master. I now own a Snowman Lamp, a Snowman Dressor and a Snowman Toy! You see.. my snow creations are so fabulously made that they mail me gifts to show their love.
I LOVE YOU TOO, SNOWMEN! Now hurry up and melt and die so I can make more and get additional Snowman swag.
Additionally, I caught a fucking Dung Beetle finally. And yes, that does have something to do with my snowmen.
No, not that.
#4 hobbie Jan 16, 2006 06:43am
I've got 5 snowman pieces, but I don't know how long it's gonna take to get the rest. Seems harder and harder to make good ones now.
EDIT
I just made another one, time to wait for the letter to see what I've won this time.
#5 hobbie Jan 30, 2006 01:17am
I accidently rolled the larger snowball onto the smaller one yesterday, and the response was the funniest I'd seen. I actually recommend trying it once, just for the laughs.