Chicago-Style Drunksaling - The Lost Posts #1 Features » Drunksaling
By G. Turner
Posted April 2, 2003

Back in the day when Chicago didn't resemble the arctic tundra, unitdaisy and I were so inspired by drunkgamers.com's garagesaling adventures that we went out about Chicago, scrounging for games. Often we returned home empty handed to post our experiences in the Drunkgamer's Message Forum. However, there were a few times we were lazy and never quite got around to posting them.

Until mid-April when the sales in Chicago start up again and we head off for brand new crap, we will be posting an old, unseen encapsulation of last year's treks each week.

Oh, and for those unfamiliar with the term garagesaling it's simple: you wake up far too early in the morning on the weekend and go out to garage sales looking for something (preferably videogame related) while wishing you were still in bed. You can picture for yourself what drunksaling is. Or just see below.

The following events occurred on September 28th, 2002.

G. Turner: This week was a nightmare - absolutely traumatizing. I go out into public once a week, and this is what I have to be subjected to?
unitdaisy: at least it gets you out of the house, i am begining to worry you ass will become permanently cemented to your precious desk chair...

G. Turner: There's booze in them there bottle!

unitdaisy: i hadn't had nearly enough of it to drink to start dropping things...

G. Turner: Our first sale was a trove of pirate goodies! Unfortunately, a couple nabbed up the pirate statuette, leaving us with the empty chest. If only it were sunken!

unitdaisy: if only G. Turner'd been quicker with the camera, that little pirate guy could have been mine! of course he would have ended up on the floor in a pile with everything else i buy at these
sales...

G. Turner: Next stop - a local thrift store. Apparently, the current trend in games is to stuff your box with a dozen manuals, and not include the game.

unitdaisy: as nice as it would be to have manuals, i would have spent hours wondering where their lost game companions were...

G. Turner: Actually, at this thrift store we found a Super Nintendo. I was pleased - finally something to play Street Fighter 2 with! It was a bit more than I wanted to pay for it, but it came with two controllers, Killer Instinct and an AC Adapter (you have no idea how rare these are in thrift stores/garage sales). However, very quickly I realized why consoles get sold so quickly. Let's just say that somewhere out there, and six year old is crying and a grandmother had to go to the hospital when they obstructed my view.

unitdaisy: yeah i almost thought that one was a goner, thankfully we are perfecting the art of intimidating the clerks into helping us first...

G. Turner: The next sale had only memories that we wish never existed.

unitdaisy: they actually had quite a collection, probably sold their turntable for one of those newfangled cd players...

G. Turner: Next up - the hanging gardens!

unitdaisy: this sale seriously had more holiday knicknacks than a hallmark store, all i could figure is his wife left him...

G. Turner: What a wash-out - apparently he had some games and a PSX earlier, but they were the first to go. Who the hell are these people? However, he did have this:

G. Turner: NOT FOR SALE. Allegedly, machine was property of the seller's roomate. We attempted several bribes that unitdaisy won't allow me to repeat here, but nothing panned out.

G. Turner: unitdaisy dragged me to this fresh pit of hell. I'll go a lot of places for games, but I will never, ever set foot in here ever again. Imagine this - racks filled with motheaten old coats shoulder to shoulder, crazed 70 year old homeless women yelling at said coats and a truckload of babies adding to the angered chorus. Let me put it like this: if Paperboy went garagesaling, it'd be like that.

unitdaisy: although it is one of my favorite thrift stores, it really was awful that day, still it often contains gems (like in a couple of weeks!)

G. Turner: No cameras, but they allow stark raving mad psychos to wander around the store, fondling anything and everything that gets in their way? Oh, wait - those are the employees. G. Turner: unitdaisy finally becomes animated - not because she found a game, but because the unit wasn't wired correctly. Electrocution - huzzah!

unitdaisy: and if i get electrocuted, G. Turner would never leave his house, except maybe for cigarettes

G. Turner: That's what the internet is for.

G. Turner: Who doesn't remember the grand experience of Demon Sword? G. Turner: Classics, or comedy classics? You be the judge!

unitdaisy: hmm and what's with all the yellow paint? what happened to these poor games?

G. Turner: The spot isn't the Noid, but you have to take what you can get.

unitdaisy: i always liked the spot, he made 7-up taste better. these days rum makes 7-up taste better

G. Turner: It's amazing how time heals wounds. Unfortunately, they can't heal the cracks in this case. G. Turner: Luckily, I suckered unitdaisy into standing in line and buying it so I could "get some fresh air". Hey - laughing includes inhaling. G. Turner: The guy in front was shopping for some non-profit organization. And by non-profit, I mean asshole. And by organization, I mean himself. He spent 15 minutes asking for shitty jewelery in one of the worst lisps I've heard in years. Oh, how I yearn for the days when I used to carry around piano wire in my pockets.

unitdaisy: this man was truly the rudest we have ever encountered while drunksailing, i felt sorry for the people waiting on him....

G. Turner: In what has become our new tradition, we stop off at a pub for lunch to cap off the day. My Harp on the left compared to her cider on her right - which one looks like it isn't watered down?

Find of the Week: ... no.

Lesson of the Week: Never buy consoles without AC Adapters unless you are absolutely, positively sure that you have a compatible AC Adapter at home. Especially concerning consoles that have had several models. Otherwise, that Darth Vader 2600 you lucked upon becomes a fantastic paperweight.

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Est. 2003