I am nearing that special point of time in a man's life when he looks back at the existence he has lead, scratches his head and wonders: Will my stature in the grand scheme of things rise? Or will I sink from this position as a 'video game commentator' to something even lower; perhaps an occupation as a street urchin or squatter? Normally such spiritual junctions require deep introspection, an intense inner look at one's wants, goals and capabilities - in short, I need to evaluate exactly how much I have accomplished in my life, the experiences I've accumulated, all that I've learned and deduce just how high my metaphysical ceiling is.

So, you can probably see why I'm insanely envious of The Prince.

Let me introduce you two. Prince, this is our dear reader. Reader, meet The Prince

Life for The Prince, while not what I'd call easy, has an amazing way of articulating progress in his little life. He has a katamari:

It's a sort of ball. He rolls it and things stick to it.

And by 'things' I mean everything. Anything on Earth. Tacks, mice, caramels, bicycles, policemen, street lamps, skyscrapers, rocket bears, hopes, dreams - anything. Everything that the katamari and, by extension, The Prince touches becomes part of the experience. Peering deep into the katamari you can see the depth of The Prince's interactions - the time he played Mahjong, when he met the Astronaut and his family down the street, the homeless cat he 'adopted'. Everything that consists of The Prince's life is in there, wrapped right around the katamari, ready for inspection. Evaluating his life is a piece of cake! He has the breadth of the katamari to gauge whether his life and actions have been full of shortcomings, or whether they measure up to a staggering work of genius. All you need to do is count the number of cows!

So, in order to trivialize and take the easy way out of what should be a stern, private ordeal, I will use The Prince to evaluate the scale of my achievements! Let us take oh, say the baseline for The Prince creating The Moon as being par for my lifetime goal:

Let the spiritual appraisal begin!

My birth:

Self-awareness achieved, became afraid of bees:

Won MegaMan 2:

Graduated High School:

Changed college major:

(for the third time)

Moved to The Windy City:

Launched The New Gamer:

Well I'll be. According to The Prince I've been spinning my wheels, sitting on my laurels, existing merely as a good-for-nothing lay-a-bout. Perhaps quantifying my own needs and desires in such a manner was a grave mistake, one that will surely be the catalyst for a tear-soaked pillow tonight. However, for The Prince it must be heavenly for each katamari you've built to ascend to the heavens, a new star affixed in the sky for all to see. And while I actually may not be equipped or prepared to deal with the physical manifestation of my failures yet, I'm glad to see The Prince is.