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The Story of Lazer Vizion

January 21, 2006 By R. LeFeuvre

I got my first pair of glasses when I was in second grade. Putting them on changed everything. I was surprised to find with normal vision you could actually see the leaves on a tree!

I continued to get more and more powerful lenses as the years past. One of my eye doctor's said I had 'BIG E' vision, because I was unable to make out even the largest E on the eye chart. I was pretty near sided -- 20/400.

Note the was. For now I am glassesless, thanks to Lasik Eye Surgery. Woo.

So the first step in Lasik Eye Surgery (once they've declared you are a valid candidate and they are sure your eyes aren't changing anymore) is to take some Valium... that way you don't go nuts. I was immensely calm the whole day, and while I actually found the entire Lasik process far more interesting than terrifying, I'm sure the Valium helped!

Then I'm lead into Room 1. This thing has a giant device which I'm to stick my eyes into so that they can be mapped. Basically, the computer looks at the my retina and creates a map which is used to tell the laser what to do to reshape the eye correctly.

Enough boring stuff...

Finally it's surgery time. Three people are there, the eye doctor and two assistants. One of them was there to basically keep my eyes wet during the surgery (as you can't blink.) They drop some stuff in my eye to numb all the nerves.

You know those scary alien abduction movies?? Where they do all kinds of crazy experiments to some poor human and they use this reverse clamp to hold open the poor guy's eye?

They've got that.

So now that my eye is stuck open they place this crazy eye cutting robot thing. It basically suctions onto the eye (it attached so hard that it broke a blood vessel in one of my eyes) and there's a camera or some sort of sensor so that it can track subtle eye movement. Then a cutting blade slices a near complete circle around the cornea of my eye. It sort of sounds like a tiny electric saw.

They remove the eye-slicebot and my doctor warns me. "When I flip back your cornea your vision will be extremely blurry. Don't worry, it's normal."

Holy shit. See, I'm focused on a small red LED and when they flipped the cornea back that light became so out of focus that it spread to cover my entire range of vision is a soft fuzzy orange glow. It was sorta like being underwater... but that's also inaccurate. I mean - I had bad vision, the BIG E, but this was unbelievable.

And it's finally time for the Lasers! I really have no idea what's going on at this point as I'm basically blind, but they start firing a laser into the back of my eyeball, reshaping it based on the map they created earlier. The Laser sounds incredible loud though, I assume that anyone waiting in the lobby would be slightly terrified from it.

They flip the cornea back, drop some other stuff in my eye and take five. And then they do it all again.

All in all it was very cool, and 100% pain free (well, except the numbing eye drops, there was a mild sting.)

The recovering process, though, is quite annoying. For the first day I just slept. The surgery was quite exhausting I guess, and the Valium was still in my system. And you have to wear these ridiculous eye covers for a week because rubbing your eyes will totally fuck things up.

One guy was driving his car while attempting to put in this antibacterial you get post-op. Shit happened and he ended up stabbing his eye with the tip of the dropper and pushing his cornea out of place! There was nothing they could do to fix it :/

I actually ended up going back six months later for a touch up, since my vision wasn't quite where I had hoped it would be. The process was identical except for one key step. Instead of using the robot to slice my cornea, they just found the old cut.... WITH TWEEZERS! He literally used small metal tweezer and manhandled the cornea lose.

I'll admit.. that got to me a bit.

But now my vision is 20/15+2 and I can watch TV in bed!

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#1 hobbie Jan 21, 2006 03:20am

20/15+2? Is that better than 15 or some funky way of saying 17?

And as for going through that awake...not just no, but SHIT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER HELL no.

I don't want any of that crap happening to my eye WHILE I USE IT.

/uggh

#2 DeadParrot Jan 21, 2006 03:26am

hobbie wrote:
20/15+2? Is that better than 15 or some funky way of saying 17?

And as for going through that awake...not just no, but SHIT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER HELL no.

I don't want any of that crap happening to my eye WHILE I USE IT.

/uggh

Fucking ditto.

I didn't know they did all that shit. I thought they just shot you with a little Eyeraker and you were good to go.

I don't think I want it anymore. :\

#3 R. LeFeuvre Jan 21, 2006 03:36am

hobbie wrote:
20/15+2? Is that better than 15 or some funky way of saying 17?

I wish I knew... it's not better than 20/15, but it is better than 20/20. But that's what they said!

Also, I found it all very interesting and I have no regrets. I mean, I went back for a second session of it! That's a vote of confidence, right!?

#4 hobbie Jan 21, 2006 03:37am

THE CUT INTO YOUR EYE WHILE YOU WERE AWAKE!

Why couldn't they just put your out completely, it's not like they didn't have that eye opener thing.

#5 R. LeFeuvre Jan 21, 2006 03:41am

The eye was numb...

And going out completely is a pretty risky thing. No thanks if it's not necessary.

#6 Servo Jan 21, 2006 10:58am

This thread is worthless without pics

#7 Soup Jan 21, 2006 04:06pm

hobbie wrote:
THE CUT INTO YOUR EYE WHILE YOU WERE AWAKE!

Why couldn't they just put your out completely, it's not like they didn't have that eye opener thing.

because they need you consistantly looking straight ahead while they make the cut.
Unless you wanna try it with the random eye movement goin on?

P.S. Welcome to the club, Ronn.

#8 Benedict Jan 21, 2006 04:18pm

Soup wrote:
P.S. Welcome to the club, Ronn.

Wouldn't eye surgery be dangerous for you? I mean, how would they even find the eye?

#9 R. LeFeuvre Jan 21, 2006 08:23pm

Soup wrote:
P.S. Welcome to the club, Ronn.

Heh, thanks. Glad to know another has LIVED TO TELL THE TALE!!!

I've actually been in 'the club' a while... at least a year. I don't try to take my glasses off before laying down anymore... nor do I wake up shocked that I can see. Those were fun days.

Servo wrote:
This thread is worthless without pics

Then how about this? (I totally didn't watch it myself... that's too creepy)

#10 Dublyner Jan 22, 2006 01:23am

R. LeFeuvre wrote:
hobbie wrote:
20/15+2? Is that better than 15 or some funky way of saying 17?
I wish I knew... it's not better than 20/15, but it is better than 20/20. But that's what they said!

It probably indicated your sight at different ranges. Like, things at a distance you see at 20/17, up close things are 20/15.

I really want this surgery now. With my busy schedule, I haven't gone back to get my prescription redone in years. My glasses only give me 20/27 :(

#11 Servo Jan 22, 2006 10:40am

R. LeFeuvre wrote:
Then how about this? (I totally didn't watch it myself... that's too creepy)

Thanks, that was actually quite interesting. I liked the reticle for the laser.

#12 w3a2 Jan 22, 2006 05:42pm

some people don't deserve eyes.

i mean, i've spent the last 15+ years of my life in front of TV / Computer Screens (the last 10 years being 10hrs+ a day) and i can't for the life of me get bad enough vision for glasses, which i so want because i don't look very smart otherwise and glasses are cool.

yet you go and get laser surgery done...although the process is pretty cool i suppose

#13 R. LeFeuvre Jan 22, 2006 06:04pm

w3a2 wrote:
i mean, i've spent the last 15+ years of my life in front of TV / Computer Screens (the last 10 years being 10hrs+ a day) and i can't for the life of me get bad enough vision for glasses

Sarcasm?

Myopia is caused because the eye is misshaped. So maybe if the TV and monitors you watch punched you in the eyes a lot...

You might as well just buy frames with plain glass in them.

I had glasses for 20 years... thats enough for me.

#14 w3a2 Jan 22, 2006 07:41pm

R. LeFeuvre wrote:

Sarcasm?

Myopia is caused because the eye is misshaped. So maybe if the TV and monitors you watch punched you in the eyes a lot...

You might as well just buy frames with plain glass in them.

I had glasses for 20 years... thats enough for me.

no i really wish i had prescription glasses so i could look smart. although then it's just another fashion accessory i would that gets out of date.

a lecturer i knew had this procedure done and he swears it was money well spent.

#15 Benedict Jan 22, 2006 07:45pm

Pretentions only ever make you less smart.

#16 Duffman Jan 22, 2006 09:04pm

I wanna get lasik.

:(

#17 Servo Jan 22, 2006 10:59pm

Duffman wrote:
I wanna get lasik.

:(

Good contribution, fag

#18 DrJones Jan 24, 2006 12:04pm

I'd looked into getting some sort of corrective eye surgery not too long ago, but unfortunately my "insurance" doesn't cover it so I'd have to come up with like $3500 out of pocket. But since my eyes aren't nearly as bad as yours were I may hold off.

It's nice to get a first hand account, though. I totally thought "Fire in the Sky" when I saw some of the equipment they use. And I'm still not a fan of the whole sharp-appendange-to-the-eye step in the process...

#19 Max Walrus Jan 24, 2006 02:47pm

It's definitely frightening looking, but I am confident enough in modern technology to take the 1% risk or whatever. Once my fucking prescription stops changing drastically every year. I'm so god damn blind.

#20 Jericho941 Jun 24, 2007 06:11am

Haha, hobbie and DP are pansies. I think it sounds pretty cool to be able to sort of watch.
I think my vision is like 20/200 maybe? It's funny how everyone's stories about their first glasses involves OMGLEAVESONTREES. I think I'll wait a few years before I seriously consider getting lasik, right now I don't really have the funds to do that sort of operation and I'm still fairly wary of it. I also like wearing glasses sometimes. Unless I'm outdoors and it's sunny. Then I want my sunglasses.

#21 R. LeFeuvre Jun 24, 2007 06:32am

Yeah if I had known that everyone used the leaves example I would have been more creative... like OMGKNEESONBEES! Or something else equally stupid.

When I got my jorb interview for my current place of employment (High Impact Games) my boss-to-be actually mentioned this journal entry.... and apparently was quite terrified by it! But hey I still go the job!

Come on people - get LAZER VIZION! You can tell people that you were shot in the eye by a laser that is so powerful that when fired it creates a sound so loud you might think that it's atomizing the air as it shoots into your cornea.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZOT! (I woulda put more 'O's in that word but I didn't want you to read it as "zoot")

EDIT: Also... whoa. voice down. These new posts are exactly one year from the last post.

#22 HektiK Jun 24, 2007 06:56am

Kinda disappointed this had nothing to do with shooting lasers from your eyes but upon further reading it proved interesting enough. Makes me glad i have such good vision. I can't handle putting eye drops in, id freak out in that situation.

#23 Sanctuary Jun 24, 2007 09:10am

I think I'll get this one day. I'm really short sighted and have a tendency to break my glasses when I need them most (Like a few days before my driving test). I guess in the long run it'd be more cost effective than glasses as well.

#24 R. LeFeuvre Jun 24, 2007 05:57pm

Sanctuary wrote:
I guess in the long run it'd be more cost effective than glasses as well.

Yeah... insurance companies are even starting to cover part of the cost because of that!

#25 Soup Jun 25, 2007 01:34am

Sanctuary
definitely wait until like 21 or so. get it too soon and puberty might change your eyes again and thus negate the surgery, which would suck.

so it's been like 4+ years since I got my LASIK (THE CAPS IS FOR AWESOMENESS), and no problems whatsoever. Not a day goes by that I regret it.

P.S. my glasses story was OMGWRINKLESONFINGERS

#26 Sanctuary Jun 25, 2007 02:09am

I think over here you have to be 21 before you can get it anyway, which kind of eliminates that problem.