You know, I got Deadspace from my wife for X-Mas because I begged her to remember to get me the game that everyone said was awesome, and being the good woman that she is...she remembered. I have still not gotten past chapter 4.

Is it too hard? Not by a mile, in fact it is too easy. Is it so scary that I can't bring myself to turn it on? Despite what the paragons of journalistic integrity over at Game Informer say...no. In fact, my Isaac walks through the Ishimura with his lil' blowtorch cutter and just waits for anything to be dumb enough to pop out at him so he can dismantle it and giggle a little.

It has ambiance, but it doesn't deliver the kinds of chills that had my cousin and I (grown men) afraid to walk outside of our little valet shed where we played Silent Hill 1 at work on the midnight shift.

I see what it wants to do...really. But it just doesn't deliver anything new. I played the "alien-artifact-that-controls-people's-minds" bit in Mass Effect, watched it in countless bad movies like Supernova and read it in Tommyknockers. The first time I came across a work station in the middle of a waiting room between wings of the ship, where any fool can walk up and graft circuitry to weapons and robo-suits I nearly turned it off.

Why is the science officer walking around the hellish death-ship looking like Sir Gallahad while the security chief with the gun is hacking the computers on the bridge? Why is there a girlfriend angle in the game that nobody cares about? Why are those upgrade nodes just sitting inside panels at random when they are used to construct weaponry? Why does the assault rifle suck?

I will eventually play through this game...I just don't know when.